Rock Needs River: A Memoir About a Very Open Adoption

Rock Needs River: A Memoir About a Very Open Adoption

Vanessa McGrady / Jul 22, 2019

Rock Needs River A Memoir About a Very Open Adoption From a story first told in the popular New York Times parenting blog comes a funny touching memoir about a mother who welcomes than a new daughter into her home After two years of w

  • Title: Rock Needs River: A Memoir About a Very Open Adoption
  • Author: Vanessa McGrady
  • ISBN:
  • Page: 151
  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • From a story first told in the popular New York Times parenting blog comes a funny, touching memoir about a mother who welcomes than a new daughter into her home

    After two years of waiting to adopt slogging through paperwork and bouncing between hope and despair a miracle finally happened for Vanessa McGrady Her sweet baby, Grace, was a dream come true Then Vaness

    From a story first told in the popular New York Times parenting blog comes a funny, touching memoir about a mother who welcomes than a new daughter into her home

    After two years of waiting to adopt slogging through paperwork and bouncing between hope and despair a miracle finally happened for Vanessa McGrady Her sweet baby, Grace, was a dream come true Then Vanessa made a highly uncommon gesture when Grace s biological parents became homeless, Vanessa invited them to stay.

    Without a blueprint for navigating the practical basics of an open adoption or any discussion of expectations or boundaries, the unusual living arrangement became a bottomless well of conflicting emotions and increasingly difficult decisions complicated by missed opportunities, regret, social chaos, and broken hearts.

    Written with wit, candor, and compassion, Rock Needs River is, ultimately, Vanessa s love letter to her daughter, one that illuminates the universal need for connection and the heroine s journey to find her tribe.

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    Lists with This Book This book is not yet featured on Listopia Add this book to your favorite list Community Reviews Showing 1 30 Rating details Sort Default Filter Jan 03, 2019 Sarah Hyatt rated it did not like it review of another edition Shelves giving up This book fails miserably at all the things it claims to be It perfectly fits my usual interests memoir adoption OPEN adoption I was so excited to see a book that fit my odd little reading niche so nicely, especially for free I dove into it, hoping it would be my first great read of the year It was not From the memoir perspective it s just not a good book It s vague and too quick in places it shouldn t be, and long and rambling in others It reads similarly to a teenage or early co This book fails miserably at all the things it claims to be It perfectly fits my usual interests memoir adoption OPEN adoption I was so excited to see a book that fit my odd little reading niche so nicely, especially for free I dove into it, hoping it would be my first great read of the year It was not From the memoir perspective it s just not a good book It s vague and too quick in places it shouldn t be, and long and rambling in others It reads similarly to a teenage or early college essay, just a lot of information and correct grammar and syntax but no overarching point or skill to craft the narrative The author basically shares the minutia of her personal life, including a long and boring list of ex lovers though unfortunately the catchy songs of Taylor Swift It s an odd reading experience because while nothing really happens, it moves very quickly, skimming along on the surface without giving much chance for reflection I felt like I could never really settle in and get to know the characters, the author included, in a way that would make me want to see what happened next It was just reading the telling, telling, telling of a series of too loosely connected events in the life of complete stranger.It didn t really cut it as a memoir And that s without the adoption piece added.Add the adoption piece and oh my Here it becomes of a dumpster fire The author sort of describes the adoption process but not really the whole thing falls victim to the same badly written and poorly paced memoir of her previous lovers We kind of hear about the training process, but not much She makes some general, surface level explanatory statements about adoption that are the equivalent of an adoption agency brochure or an awkward group presentation on What is Adoption in a 100 level college course She spends a stunningly narcissistic and self indulgent amount of time on an internet argument, where she got rightfully attacked for asking to adopt someone s baby And so it goes I m 2 2 on Taylor Swift references in this review and that has been the best thing to come out of reading this book.The whole book strikes a tone that is somehow beyond the typical adoptive parent centric, adopter as savior tone into one where literally everyone surrounding the author is treated only as a prop No other characters are ever developed as actual people, and I would say they re only used to further the narrative except there isn t even much narrative The depth and detail given for most events in this book is of the sort that would maybe be appropriate for an 800 word essay, and even then it feels off somehow Not enough, and not the right quality of detail.It s not a very good book, from a reading perspective, and from an adoption perspective it s at best useless adopting a kid doesn t mean you have an interesting story or one that needs told, please can people realize this and at worst harmful the author s attitude towards her kids biological family is dismissive and self centered, it s yet another adoptive parent story, the ethics of private infant adoption are never considered, and so on So much for my first read of the year being a lovely adoption memoir Back to my weird British mysteries and ghosts.Worth mentioning if you are looking for an open adoption memoir, God and Jetfire was, in my opinion, a lovely one I don t get any compensation for saying that I just really liked that book, found the writing to be beautiful, and I thought it was very humanizing of all parties flag 30 likesLike see review View all 6 comments Rebecca I m 20% though and totally agree, I m already bored of the ex lovers and feel quite glad I only have 4 5ths to go Jan 30, 2019 05 45AM Jess Love this review so much 4 hours, 22 min ago Jan 06, 2019 Natalie Joy rated it it was ok Shelves kindle first I m disappointed that this was my first completed read of the year I am glad that it was a free read via s Kindle First program because I cannot imagine wanting to spend money on this fluff piece The book blurb suggests a funny and witty story of a mother s 2 year wait to adopt and then the surprise twist of taking her baby s birth parents into her home when they end up homeless It takes FIVE CHAPTERS to actually get to the adoption part of the story those five chapters are an a I m disappointed that this was my first completed read of the year I am glad that it was a free read via s Kindle First program because I cannot imagine wanting to spend money on this fluff piece The book blurb suggests a funny and witty story of a mother s 2 year wait to adopt and then the surprise twist of taking her baby s birth parents into her home when they end up homeless It takes FIVE CHAPTERS to actually get to the adoption part of the story those five chapters are an absolutely boring, self absorbed account of the author s life wandering from city to city and a weirdly specific list of ex boyfriends, their names, a short recount of her relationship with each man, and a final explanation on why the relationship didn t last Background details of the author for a memoir is fine, but this part meandered for way too long and didn t actually add anything to the story Talking about her shaky relationship with her parents and how that affected her own parenting years later is relevant and I wish she d spent time on that instead of on her former random relationships After she takes her baby s birth parents into her house we see she is compassionate, I think she really is, but she basically throws job applications and money at the young couple and can t figure out why nothing ever comes of it Clearly there s something going on in the lives of this young couple that is keeping them from truly getting the help they need but unfortunately there s never really any explanation of what it could be Frustratingly, towards the end of the book the author sits down for an interview with the couple after they ve moved to another state and she spends a paragraph talking about how they revealed feeling totally sidelined in the adoption and were treated badly by the adoption agency, hospital workers, and other people involved And that s it Just a paragraph Here is where I feel like we could have gotten into the lives of these birth parents and maybe explored bias in the system and laws or procedures that favor either birth or adoptive parents and shed light on the issues the birth parents dealt with and how that may have affected their trust in all charitable agencies years later, but no The actual story part of this memoir would have been better as a magazine article or essay There is so much rambling, irrelevant information in this book that really feels like it s there just to bring it up to the right page count to be published as a book I wouldn t read it again flag 17 likesLike see review Linda Morris I agree totally and wonder if after getting to the interview, the views expressed by the birth parents did not shine favour on the author and so the c I agree totally and wonder if after getting to the interview, the views expressed by the birth parents did not shine favour on the author and so the content of wHt was said is quickly glossed over Feb 01, 2019 06 22AM Jan 04, 2019 Heather Macaulay ditaranto rated it did not like it Entertaining at first but quickly turned into a narcissistic account of one woman s the author, perhaps Sexual encounters, work history and selfish desire to have a baby when obviously she wasn t meant to be a mother.I was disappointed that this story appeared to be the memoirs of a self applauding wannabe No real depth to this book flag 11 likesLike see review View 2 comments Jan 09, 2019 Julie Robichaux rated it it was ok Oh, man, the author was so close to getting itand just never did I was aching for her to develop some sort of insight any sort of insight into why she felt and behaved as she did towards her daughter s bio parents.Instead, over and over again, I read confused complaints about how they disappointed her and very little acknowledgement that her expectations may have been unfair Very little awareness that it was presumptuous to impose her own standards on them, and that her position of c Oh, man, the author was so close to getting itand just never did I was aching for her to develop some sort of insight any sort of insight into why she felt and behaved as she did towards her daughter s bio parents.Instead, over and over again, I read confused complaints about how they disappointed her and very little acknowledgement that her expectations may have been unfair Very little awareness that it was presumptuous to impose her own standards on them, and that her position of comparative privilege warranted real delicacy Very little in the way of what felt like authentic empathy And very little growth, as far as I could track.Although plenty of readers felt the author was generous in that she let Bill and Bridgett stay at her home when they were homeless, my overall takeaway was that she didn t have the kind of generosity that means the most generosity of spirit.For these reasons, I found the entire story off putting, even without taking into account the style of the telling bloggy than booklike That s not bad in itself, but a different approach might have made the narcissism go down a little easily flag 9 likesLike see review bree This is exactly how I felt about this book Ad the fact that she mentions interviewing Bridgette and Bill about the adoption process and them feeling This is exactly how I felt about this book Ad the fact that she mentions interviewing Bridgette and Bill about the adoption process and them feeling angry, used and betrayed but doesn t delve into the interview any deeply than that seems like a glaring omission to keep the author securely cloaked in the generous savior mantle 13 hours, 13 min ago Jan 04, 2019 Erin rated it it was ok review of another edition I came across this book as a free download from Prime I almost bailed just 20 pages in mostly due to swearing but decided to stick with it because it was describing a life and circumstances foreign to my own life and circumstances While somewhat interesting, I found the writing and pacing weak The author tries to be open and vulnerable, but her self analysis often swings towards justification and rationalization than true awareness Some of her life mottos are completely differe I came across this book as a free download from Prime I almost bailed just 20 pages in mostly due to swearing but decided to stick with it because it was describing a life and circumstances foreign to my own life and circumstances While somewhat interesting, I found the writing and pacing weak The author tries to be open and vulnerable, but her self analysis often swings towards justification and rationalization than true awareness Some of her life mottos are completely different from the type of motto I d want in my own life flag 8 likesLike see review Jan 05, 2019 Goth Gone Grey rated it it was ok Shelves 2019, kindle first, life stories More about the author than the adoption very self absorbedI wish of the book had the upbeat, optimistic style of this example My parents taught me how to create a tribe Some of my blood related family is in my tribe, to be sure, but most of its members I ve picked up along the way, starting when I was four with my best friend, Lisa, who lived downstairs and who is closer to me today than any blood sister could be My tribe is hilarious and loyal and helpful and made up of fragile soul More about the author than the adoption very self absorbedI wish of the book had the upbeat, optimistic style of this example My parents taught me how to create a tribe Some of my blood related family is in my tribe, to be sure, but most of its members I ve picked up along the way, starting when I was four with my best friend, Lisa, who lived downstairs and who is closer to me today than any blood sister could be My tribe is hilarious and loyal and helpful and made up of fragile souls and supersonic minds and great, big, fat beating hearts, and I wouldn t be who I am without them My parents taught me how to find and keep people And maybe, maybe, I could be a mom and bring everything I knew to a little soul, and we could love each other in a way only a mother and daughter could Or should Alas, it s not to be The writing style is conversational, but in that uncomfortable, let me tell you all my tales of woe way that makes you mentally check out before you can physically escape from the person She writes of her failed relationships, longing for a child, and the adoption from a self centered, ugly to read perspective There s an overriding, uncomfortable theme that the author knows best, and those around her can t do things right While this is sometimes accurate impaired driving is an obvious poor choice often than not it comes across as judgemental and rude Not all of the thoughts about each situation need to be shared for it to still remain an honest memoir Her perspective on her daughter s birth parents is difficult to read She s insultingly surprised when their temporary home is spotless, and assumes he s lying about his other daughter Their perspective on the experience is not truly offered here even when she says she visited them to hear it as she ran away from them when they told her what happened, and focused on how hearing it hurt her than what it did to them flag 7 likesLike see review Dec 30, 2018 Julie Christine rated it it was amazing review of another edition Shelves best of 2018, bio autobio memoir, read 2018 This is the story of a woman growing into her heart With cozy candor that invites the reader to pour a tall glass of malbec, kick off her shoes and curl into the sofa, Vanessa McGrady shares her journey of choice and circumstance to becoming a mother One summer day, I was lolling around in the bath, and, inexplicably, with no apparent trigger, I wanted a baby I was nearing thirty I felt an allover tug in my body, a missing of someone I didn t know Every single cell in me ached The tears sta This is the story of a woman growing into her heart With cozy candor that invites the reader to pour a tall glass of malbec, kick off her shoes and curl into the sofa, Vanessa McGrady shares her journey of choice and circumstance to becoming a mother One summer day, I was lolling around in the bath, and, inexplicably, with no apparent trigger, I wanted a baby I was nearing thirty I felt an allover tug in my body, a missing of someone I didn t know Every single cell in me ached The tears started dripping down my face, slipping into the bathwaterMore than a decade passes, years that see McGrady pregnant, then not, her body discarding the new lives forming inside of her with wanton disregard for her keening desire Her relationships and romances are ancillary these men fall short in large and small ways What remains is the certainty that her 1 is meant to be a son or daughter Then in her early forties, McGrady settles into love She marries Peter and together they pursue open adoption Two years into the process, A call from Linda, the social worker, came in After two years of filling out paperwork, chasing wispy, insignificant leads, wondering if every single call I ever got would be the call, there it was McGrady meets Bridgett, twenty eight, and Bill, thirty eight, struggling musicians devoted to each other, but realistic about their inability to responsibly parent a child They lived itinerant lives, underemployed, without a stable home A baby did not fit into their dreams of making it as musicians Red flags wave wildly when Bill contacts Vanessa after their first meeting, demanding she make an immediate decision Bridgett is nearly due, the couple are facing eviction, previous potential parents have fallen out of favor for their unwillingness to cooperate It feels ominous and fraught, but McGrady takes her chances Days later, Bridgett goes into early labor McGrady, who had been out of town on a work trip, arrives after the birth Bridgett, Bill, and Peter are there to greet her Peter hands her the baby, who Bridgett and Bill have named Kelli Mae The baby girl who would soon become Grace McGrady I held her in my arms, looking deep into her squishy, sweet face I gently rocker her, and it felt like a dance I realized only at that moment, I d had little to no experience with a newborn It just felt right Normal, no reason for tears Only a very calm, solid kind of joy My new normal Me and this kid.If only it were that simple Before Grace s third birthday, Peter has moved out and Bill and Bridgett have moved in McGrady s dream of becoming a mama has come true But now she is obliged to captain a boat through waters for which there is no helpful map to be found in a search on In reaching out a compassionate hand to support her child s homeless biological parents, she may be putting at risk the mental health of the life she has moved heaven and earth to save The memoirist faces a dual, often conflicting challenge to make the personal universal, and to make the universal interesting Thwarted attempts at motherhood, from miscarriage to still birth to unsuccessful adoption, are grist for the personal essay mill full disclosure I ve published several We re invited into the author s pain, cringing through the raw moments that we can t imagine sharing with our colleagues, our family, perhaps even our partners, much less with a host of strangers And yet we can t look away, because we measure ourselves against the writer, in awe of the vulnerability and truths shared, astonished that someone is able to articulate our particular pain, releasing us from our emotional isolation That s what great memoir does even if the events and circumstances are unique to the writer, the a ha moments conveyed become part of a shared experience of the heart Vanessa McGrady has crafted such a memoir, great in its ability to hold the reader rapt to the page, wondering how the author will hold all of this together and where she, and Grace, will be by the end Written with compassion and humor, Rock Needs River simply flows with love My gratitude to the author and her publisher for providing me with an Advance Reader Copy flag 7 likesLike see review Jan 09, 2019 Char rated it did not like it Shelves first reads, non fiction, memoirs This was one of my First Reads picks for the month of January From a story first told on the popular New York Times parenting blog comes a funny, touching memoir about a mother who welcomes than a new daughter into her home Oh, how misleading this little blurb is Why Because there isn t much funny or touching about this book To be honest, it isn t even really a book about an open adoption since the author barely touches on the actual process and doesn t seem to have any understan This was one of my First Reads picks for the month of January From a story first told on the popular New York Times parenting blog comes a funny, touching memoir about a mother who welcomes than a new daughter into her home Oh, how misleading this little blurb is Why Because there isn t much funny or touching about this book To be honest, it isn t even really a book about an open adoption since the author barely touches on the actual process and doesn t seem to have any understanding of how to handle it There s no real explanations, insight or advice Where there should have been array of information, she just kind of skimmed over everything However, she does go on and on about her sexual exploits and failed relationships in much thorough detail so if you re interested in any of that then this is the story for you Honestly, this book failed on so many levels that it would be difficult to name them all so instead I ll tell you all the things I did like about it I got nothing flag 6 likesLike see review Sep 27, 2018 Stephen rated it really liked it review of another edition Rock Needs River is than a story about an open adoption, whereby the parents putting a child up for adoption remain part of that child s life Author Vanessa McGrady s personal journey toward adoptive motherhood details the process by which she was able to locate a couple desiring to give up their daughter so as to focus on their dreams as musicians You will read about groups she joined as part of that process, mistakes she made which turned her ears red, the anxious, hopeful waiting a Rock Needs River is than a story about an open adoption, whereby the parents putting a child up for adoption remain part of that child s life Author Vanessa McGrady s personal journey toward adoptive motherhood details the process by which she was able to locate a couple desiring to give up their daughter so as to focus on their dreams as musicians You will read about groups she joined as part of that process, mistakes she made which turned her ears red, the anxious, hopeful waiting and the rather torturous path she had to traverse since the few existing roadmaps were cursory and particular at best The parents, Bridgett and Bill, are a curious study a pair of artists somehow inured to a hardscrabble life of homeless tent living and off the grid shack habitation The author explains her tireless, well meaning efforts at keeping the feckless couple in her their daughter s life and to help get them on their feet They don t seem to want a better life, or view working and fitting their life into a paycheck as better than methodically picking through dumpsters for their necessaries They are respectful, talented and smart, but mistrustful, elusive and, ultimately, too far afield to become part of Vanessa and Grace s the little girl life together Although Rock Needs River opens the door on a particular type of adoption arrangement, it is no simple how to if only because you re not Vanessa McGrady Important as her adoption story is, the recounting of the path by which she made that decision is equally novel Here we have a young American woman, the product of a broken home, imbued with a good education and significant freedoms those of her gender once only dreamed about Hers is a story of youth out to savor life, love, and travel, still cutting paths through territories for which there are few maps, making mistakes, learning from them, absorbing set backs, and then forging ahead The prose is very smart, lively and, though McGrady s story is a personal one, there is a never a sense of overindulgence with her self Her closing discussion about the prevalence of adoption in the literature and, thus, history of Western Civilization is enlightening and important to the book She employs a light tone laced with humor and observations often apropos of nothing, yet somehow apropos, so that with Rock the author has fashioned a complete and multi layered piece of lovely literature flag 6 likesLike see review Jan 08, 2019 Tami Sullivan rated it did not like it Not my favorite readThe author paints herself in a virtuous tone, but instead presents herself as needy and victimized I was disappointed Pass on this depressing, self congratulatory mess of a book flag 5 likesLike see review Jan 08, 2019 Sharon Jones rated it it was ok Not one of the bestI did not care for the main character, Vanessa She seemed self centered, hard to please and unwilling to make any commitment She went through men like they were there to please her and if anything went astray in her thinking, they were toast She allowed herself to do what she wanted in a relationship I have doubts that she is the good mother she makes herself out to be Not my pick for a steady Mother flag 3 likesLike see review Sep 18, 2018 Kimberley Moran rated it it was amazing review of another edition Vanessa s story is exceptional but it s her writing that pulls you in close and keeps you there I opened the book expecting to read a few pages to see what I was getting into and closed it three hours later on the last page flag 3 likesLike see review Jan 18, 2019 Pattie rated it it was ok review of another edition Shelves adoption, biography autobiography This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers To view it, click here I got this as a free download, and, as the product of a closed adoption, I was eager to learn about the author s experience with open adoption The story about her journey to obtain a child was somewhat interesting And it rightly portrays infant adoption exactly as it is as the last chance of obtaining a child in order to fulfill the need of the woman who has tried every other way to have a baby The author emerges as a person who blames people for disappointing her even they are clear I got this as a free download, and, as the product of a closed adoption, I was eager to learn about the author s experience with open adoption The story about her journey to obtain a child was somewhat interesting And it rightly portrays infant adoption exactly as it is as the last chance of obtaining a child in order to fulfill the need of the woman who has tried every other way to have a baby The author emerges as a person who blames people for disappointing her even they are clear up front about exactly who they are She makes bad choices in partners, and then blames the men for being exactly who they clearly are When she finally starts dating her husband, she knows he is still married, but is surprised that his wife does not react well to finding out that he is cheating She knows her husband is a less than ambitious guy saddled with a lot of financial burdens from his past, and yet blames him for not contributing to the household She sees right away that the birthparents are lost souls, and yet she blames repeatedly them for not shaping up and either getting jobs or signing up for the VA benefits the birthfather had earned to her credit, she acknowledges trying to impose her values on them, but even her acknowledgement is subtly shaming She provides constant little digs about their irresponsibility, along the line of And as of now, I m still waiting to receive whatever thing they may have promised to send her Also, why is it necessary to the narrative to point out repeatedly that while she herself is, of course, completely sober, her ex husband is not It doesn t add much, and just feels self justifying and unnecessarily harsh.Also frustrating is how much this short memoir is peppered with descriptions of all the times her daughter makes it clear how much she loves her Mama the author , choosing the author and rejecting those lost souls who gave her birth especially Bill, who is a liar which is never explained And the descriptions of how gorgeous, brilliant, insightful and perfect happy her beautiful and delightful little fairy child is get a little irritating, but that could be just the bitterness of a reader whose own adoptive mother found her somewhat less than delightful.As many other readers have said, it would have been good to hear from Bill and Bridgett The author describes how the nurses at the hospital badger and harass them to consider keeping their daughter, and yet they say they felt pressured to relinquish It would have been fascinating to hear about that gap in perception flag 2 likesLike see review View 1 comment Jan 25, 2019 Beth Ellor rated it it was amazing A life fully livedVanessa McGrady pulls no punches in describing her own life and her transformation into a passionate mother Because I m also a late blooming passionate mother since 1988 so much of it rings true She upends the sentimentality that often surrounds adoption to the uninitiated Her recognition of the adoption triad and respect for the deep unknowns is such a relief, amid so much psychobabble And her narrative, while familiar in feeling, also demonstrates the totally unpredicta A life fully livedVanessa McGrady pulls no punches in describing her own life and her transformation into a passionate mother Because I m also a late blooming passionate mother since 1988 so much of it rings true She upends the sentimentality that often surrounds adoption to the uninitiated Her recognition of the adoption triad and respect for the deep unknowns is such a relief, amid so much psychobabble And her narrative, while familiar in feeling, also demonstrates the totally unpredictable and ungeneralizable truth that no two families, no two adoptions are the same I flew through this book in two days, but will return to it a profound and eminently readable soul baring flag 2 likesLike see review Jan 15, 2019 Lakshmi rated it did not like it I picked this book because as a parent in an open adoption, I hoped to glean insights on how others do it and how to get better at it While this is a vulnerable, honest look at what open adoption looks like, it made me sad to see the child s parents history, their weakest moments laid bare for anyone to read While they will get past this phase in their lives, these words will live on I feel broken for the child who will one day read this and wonder why this was shared I wish the book had emp I picked this book because as a parent in an open adoption, I hoped to glean insights on how others do it and how to get better at it While this is a vulnerable, honest look at what open adoption looks like, it made me sad to see the child s parents history, their weakest moments laid bare for anyone to read While they will get past this phase in their lives, these words will live on I feel broken for the child who will one day read this and wonder why this was shared I wish the book had emphasized how to work through these issues just from the author s pov without sharing as much of the other characters lives I also wish at the end, all that interview and the birth parents thoughts were shared as is It is important for people in the adoption triad to know the good, the bad and the ugly.In all honesty, I am a parent who shares a lot of my life and that of my children online I straddle this line between okay and too much every day This book is an eye opener for me on how I should navigate this writing journey.On the plus side, the language is great, the pacing excellent The author is a good writer and it shows flag 2 likesLike see review Jan 05, 2019 Ceecee rated it it was ok Kindle First for January I picked this as I was hoping for some insight into open adoption of which I have no experience or understanding If that s what you are looking for forget it with this book It was about 30% in before adoption was even mentioned as it was memoir of a not especially interesting life as Vanessa went from partner to partner I felt empathy with her miscarriages as I ve been there myself and I applaud people who give a loving home to adopted children However, Kindle First for January I picked this as I was hoping for some insight into open adoption of which I have no experience or understanding If that s what you are looking for forget it with this book It was about 30% in before adoption was even mentioned as it was memoir of a not especially interesting life as Vanessa went from partner to partner I felt empathy with her miscarriages as I ve been there myself and I applaud people who give a loving home to adopted children However, the remaining 70% was at times a rambling story which covered a number of issues and IMO not enough on the open adoption I also think it s way too early to judge what effect Grace s biological parents have on her as they flit in and out of her life To describe them as flaky is to do them a favour Who can say what the impact will be by the time Grace enters the difficult world of teenage years I was really disappointed and I feel the blurb is misleading flag 1 likeLike see review View all 5 comments Jan 24, 2019 Amira Richardson rated it it was amazing COULDN T PUT THIS BOOK DOWN I was adopted as a 4 month old baby in a closed adoption but through God s infinite Grace a LOVELY woman reunited my family with me and I was able to spend 25 years of lost time with my birth mom before she passed away in 2018 Open adoptions allow those who are adopted to be completely wholenot that we love our God given families any lessbut for many of us there are missing pieces Thank you Vanessa McGrath for this amazing story of inclusion for all involved flag 1 likeLike see review Jan 31, 2019 Kristen rated it liked it 3.5 StarsI didn t seek out this book I got it free from and read it because one of my goals is to read non fiction I didn t love the writing in the book and felt like the writer couldn t decide between being conversational and formal But I did like the story and enjoyed hearing finallyit took a while how she came to adopt her daughter I m not sure I m a strong enough person to handle the open adoption the way she did and certainly admire her strength and unconditional love 3.5 StarsI didn t seek out this book I got it free from and read it because one of my goals is to read non fiction I didn t love the writing in the book and felt like the writer couldn t decide between being conversational and formal But I did like the story and enjoyed hearing finallyit took a while how she came to adopt her daughter I m not sure I m a strong enough person to handle the open adoption the way she did and certainly admire her strength and unconditional love for her daughter flag 1 likeLike see review Jan 09, 2019 Wendy Kinsey rated it it was amazing Best book I have read in a while This book is so honest and poignant at times heartbreaking and at times so hopeful and rich that it brought me to tears My story is similar so it resonates with me But even if adoption isn t a part of your life, this book is, to put it simply and succinctly, beautiful flag 1 likeLike see review Jan 02, 2019 Christina rated it it was amazing review of another edition When I saw the lovely title Rock Needs River, I knew this memoir would offer some emotional content But for those who haven t read it yet, it s not a weeper or a downer at all It s so much than adoption It s about the stresses of single life, dating, longing, trying so, so hard to make something work when it s difficult, and And it s about the challenges of people, namely the partner she adopted her child with, and the frustrating, charming, and ultimately lovable birthparents H When I saw the lovely title Rock Needs River, I knew this memoir would offer some emotional content But for those who haven t read it yet, it s not a weeper or a downer at all It s so much than adoption It s about the stresses of single life, dating, longing, trying so, so hard to make something work when it s difficult, and And it s about the challenges of people, namely the partner she adopted her child with, and the frustrating, charming, and ultimately lovable birthparents Homelessness is a theme here too, very timely in light of the rise in this population and how extraordinarily frustrating it can be to help them So even if you aren t automatically interested in adoption, you will find much in this book flag 1 likeLike see review Jan 08, 2019 Cara Swann rated it it was amazing Thought provoking memoir about adoptionI found this memoir to be very positive about open adoption The author is candid, intellectual, insightful and most of all, truly loves and adores her adopted daughter Loved the eccentric, creative yet grounded McGrady whose sparkling personality shines through in every page Highly recommended flag 1 likeLike see review Jan 13, 2019 Cathy Cottrell rated it it was amazing Amazing Such a good book I would force myself to put it down, and go to bed at night Thank you, Vanessa for sharing such a personal, sometimes troubling, but very honest account of your life, and struggles to get to where you are today, with Grace flag 1 likeLike see review Jan 12, 2019 Linda rated it it was amazing review of another edition Rock Needs River is a beautiful memoir about family, both the one you re born into and the one you choose to create Calling on her past, myth, experts in the field, and straight up prayer, Vanessa McGrady takes us on a wild ride as she figures out how and when to start a family As many women discover, family doesn t always appear the way you expect or hope it to, but the author never gives up Reminiscent of Eat, Pray, Love, in its brutal honesty and path of self discovery, we have a front row Rock Needs River is a beautiful memoir about family, both the one you re born into and the one you choose to create Calling on her past, myth, experts in the field, and straight up prayer, Vanessa McGrady takes us on a wild ride as she figures out how and when to start a family As many women discover, family doesn t always appear the way you expect or hope it to, but the author never gives up Reminiscent of Eat, Pray, Love, in its brutal honesty and path of self discovery, we have a front row seat on this roller coaster rode to motherhood A must read flag 1 likeLike see review Jan 06, 2019 REBECCA TABOR rated it it was amazing A great readThis was a personal story to me my mom was adopted and it brought an interesting perspective as well as an unusual to me way of adopting a child Beautifully written, difficult to put down, and I d gladly read it again flag 1 likeLike see review Jan 06, 2019 Cara Dyksen rated it really liked it review of another edition Free download so what the heck I finished it within a few hours Very pleasantly surprised at this memoir, especially after just finishing an amazing memoir yesterday The bar was high, but Vanessa McGrady s heart on her sleeve writing drew me in I love her love for Grace, and her constant need to let Grace know she can do anything, how loved she is and always will be Her internal battle of wanting to do the right thing vs the skepticism of her abilities to succeed at doing so were very rela Free download so what the heck I finished it within a few hours Very pleasantly surprised at this memoir, especially after just finishing an amazing memoir yesterday The bar was high, but Vanessa McGrady s heart on her sleeve writing drew me in I love her love for Grace, and her constant need to let Grace know she can do anything, how loved she is and always will be Her internal battle of wanting to do the right thing vs the skepticism of her abilities to succeed at doing so were very relatable flag 1 likeLike see review Jan 11, 2019 Patti rated it it was amazing Great memoir I enjoy reading about true stories about people s lives This is a story that is light and happy Has a good storyline that held my interest It felt like the author was sitting with me telling her story, with the happy and sometimes sad moments flag 1 likeLike see review Jan 24, 2019 Jill Therese rated it it was amazing Best read in a long timeThere subject was so compelling I m glad Ms McGrath was paired with a perfect child Their love is abundan and reading about it a joy Keeping an open adoption would be scary to me but I related to her reasons and continued outreach to the parents flag 1 likeLike see review Jan 11, 2019 Rebeka rated it it was amazing LoveGreat book for moms Quick and easy to read, finished it in 2 days Will be looking up books by this author flag 1 likeLike see review Jan 02, 2019 Jennifer Carlson rated it it was amazing Loved this book Randomly came across this through and I read it in a few hours Best book I ve read recently Interesting story, but I really liked her writing style and her help make change approach, like the relationship with Grace s bio parents Excellent job connecting reader with characterswish I could hang out with this author Great book and hope to see from Vanessa McGrady flag 1 likeLike see review Jan 21, 2019 Jennifer rated it it was amazing Interesting story.I really enjoyed this book I have a family member who placed her daughter with a wonderful family though open adoption This was written in a seemingly honest way, telling the story of the good, the bad, and the ugly flag 1 likeLike see review previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 next new topicDiscuss This Book There are no discussion topics on this book yet Be the first to start one Share Recommend It Stats Recent Status Updates Vanessa McGrady 14 followers Readers Also Enjoyed

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    • [PDF] Download ☆ Rock Needs River: A Memoir About a Very Open Adoption | by ✓ Vanessa McGrady
      151 Vanessa McGrady
    • thumbnail Title: [PDF] Download ☆ Rock Needs River: A Memoir About a Very Open Adoption | by ✓ Vanessa McGrady
      Posted by:Vanessa McGrady
      Published :2018-011-09T20:12:21+00:00

    About "Vanessa McGrady"

      • Vanessa McGrady

        Vanessa McGrady Is a well-known author, some of his books are a fascination for readers like in the Rock Needs River: A Memoir About a Very Open Adoption book, this is one of the most wanted Vanessa McGrady author readers around the world.


    184 Comments

    1. This book fails miserably at all the things it claims to be It perfectly fits my usual interests memoir adoption OPEN adoption I was so excited to see a book that fit my odd little reading niche so nicely, especially for free I dove into it, hoping it would be my first great read of the year It was not From the memoir perspective it s just not a good book It s vague and too quick in places it shouldn t be, and long and rambling in others It reads similarly to a teenage or early co This book fail [...]


    2. I m disappointed that this was my first completed read of the year I am glad that it was a free read via s Kindle First program because I cannot imagine wanting to spend money on this fluff piece The book blurb suggests a funny and witty story of a mother s 2 year wait to adopt and then the surprise twist of taking her baby s birth parents into her home when they end up homeless It takes FIVE CHAPTERS to actually get to the adoption part of the story those five chapters are an a I m disappointe [...]


    3. Entertaining at first but quickly turned into a narcissistic account of one woman s the author, perhaps Sexual encounters, work history and selfish desire to have a baby when obviously she wasn t meant to be a mother.I was disappointed that this story appeared to be the memoirs of a self applauding wannabe No real depth to this book.


    4. Oh, man, the author was so close to getting itand just never did I was aching for her to develop some sort of insight any sort of insight into why she felt and behaved as she did towards her daughter s bio parents.Instead, over and over again, I read confused complaints about how they disappointed her and very little acknowledgement that her expectations may have been unfair Very little awareness that it was presumptuous to impose her own standards on them, and that her position of [...]


    5. I came across this book as a free download from Prime I almost bailed just 20 pages in mostly due to swearing but decided to stick with it because it was describing a life and circumstances foreign to my own life and circumstances While somewhat interesting, I found the writing and pacing weak The author tries to be open and vulnerable, but her self analysis often swings towards justification and rationalization than true awareness Some of her life mottos are completely differe I came across t [...]


    6. More about the author than the adoption very self absorbedI wish of the book had the upbeat, optimistic style of this example My parents taught me how to create a tribe Some of my blood related family is in my tribe, to be sure, but most of its members I ve picked up along the way, starting when I was four with my best friend, Lisa, who lived downstairs and who is closer to me today than any blood sister could be My tribe is hilarious and loyal and helpful and made up of fragile soul More about [...]


    7. This is the story of a woman growing into her heart With cozy candor that invites the reader to pour a tall glass of malbec, kick off her shoes and curl into the sofa, Vanessa McGrady shares her journey of choice and circumstance to becoming a mother One summer day, I was lolling around in the bath, and, inexplicably, with no apparent trigger, I wanted a baby I was nearing thirty I felt an allover tug in my body, a missing of someone I didn t know Every single cell in me ached The tears sta


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