How to Hold a Grudge: From Resentment to Contentment—The Power of Grudges to Transform Your Life

How to Hold a Grudge: From Resentment to Contentment—The Power of Grudges to Transform Your Life

Sophie Hannah / Aug 22, 2019

How to Hold a Grudge From Resentment to Contentment The Power of Grudges to Transform Your Life The first and only comprehensive examination of the universal but widely misunderstood practice of grudge holding that will show you how to use grudges to be your happiest most optimistic and most f

  • Title: How to Hold a Grudge: From Resentment to Contentment—The Power of Grudges to Transform Your Life
  • Author: Sophie Hannah
  • ISBN: 1982111429
  • Page: 143
  • Format: Hardcover
  • The first and only comprehensive examination of the universal but widely misunderstood practice of grudge holding that will show you how to use grudges to be your happiest, most optimistic, and most forgiving self Secretly, we all hold grudges, but most of us probably think we shouldn t, and many of us deny that we do To bear a grudge is too negative, right Shouldn t we The first and only comprehensive examination of the universal but widely misunderstood practice of grudge holding that will show you how to use grudges to be your happiest, most optimistic, and most forgiving self Secretly, we all hold grudges, but most of us probably think we shouldn t, and many of us deny that we do To bear a grudge is too negative, right Shouldn t we just forgive and move on Wrong, says self appointed grudge guru Sophie Hannah, in her groundbreaking and irreverent self help guide Yes, it s essential to think positively if we want to live happy lives, but even crucial is how we get to the positive Denying our negative emotions and experiences is likely to lead only to pain, conflict, and stress.What if our grudges are good for us What if we could embrace them, and use them to help ourselves and others, instead of feeling ashamed of our inability to banish negative emotions and memories from our lives With contributions from expert psychotherapists as well as extracts from her own extensive catalog of grudges, Sophie Hannah investigates the psychological origins of grudges and also offers not so obvious insights into how we should acknowledge and embrace them in order to improve the quality of our interpersonal relationships and senses of self Grudges do not have to fill us with hate or make us toxic, bitter, and miserable If we approach the practice of grudge holding in an enlightened way, it will do the opposite we will become forgiving.Practical, compassionate, and downright funny, How to Hold a Grudge reveals everything we need to know about the many different forms of grudge, the difference between a grudge and not a grudge not as obvious as it seems , when we should let a grudge go, and how to honor a grudge and distill lessons from it that will turn us into better, happier people for our own benefit and for the sake of spreading good and limiting harm in the world Get A Copy Kindle Store Online StoresAudibleBarnes NobleWalmart eBooksApple BooksGoogle PlayAbebooksBook DepositoryIndigoAlibrisBetter World BooksIndieBoundLibraries Or buy for Hardcover, 272 pages Published January 1st 2019 by Scribner More Details ISBN 1982111429 ISBN13 9781982111427 Other Editions 8 All Editions Add a New Edition Combine Less Detail edit details Friend Reviews To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up Reader QA To ask other readers questions about How to Hold a Grudge, please sign up Popular Answered Questions Is this an ebook and is it compatible with audible like 36 days ago Add your answer Erin I don t know about audible, but it does come as an ebook that s how I read it flag See 2 questions about How to Hold a Grudge Lists with This Book Non Fiction Published in Year 2019 160 books 18 voters Self Help Published in Decade 2010s 81 books 6 voters More lists with this book Community Reviews Showing 1 30 Rating details Sort Default Filter Oct 10, 2018 Paromjit rated it liked it Shelves netgalley, non fiction On almost a whim Sophie Hannah decides to write a book on grudges, a topic she discovers no one else has ever written about Holding grudges is a universal psychological phenomena and although Hannah has no mental health background or experience, she feels comfortable tackling the topic, with the help of two mental health practitioners looking over her work She takes issue with the definition of a grudge, identifies different types and themes of grudges, and when to let go of a grudge She make On almost a whim Sophie Hannah decides to write a book on grudges, a topic she discovers no one else has ever written about Holding grudges is a universal psychological phenomena and although Hannah has no mental health background or experience, she feels comfortable tackling the topic, with the help of two mental health practitioners looking over her work She takes issue with the definition of a grudge, identifies different types and themes of grudges, and when to let go of a grudge She makes the argument that grudges have the power to be positive experiences, transforming a person to become a better human being and clarify their personal value system This is not a book to dip into from time to time, according to Hannah, for the arguments raised to make sense it has to read from beginning to end.Hannah gives us personal anecdotes and evidence gained through social media as evidence of her research to back up the points that she makes There are several multiple choice Grudge Quizes interspersed for the reader to evaluate themselves She identifies the danger of revenge in grudge holding and the need to look at the intentions behind holding a grudge, processing it and learning from it before placing it in a Grudge Cabinet I found Hannah s approach meandering at best, full of assumptions and questionable in its organisation structure, and not all her anecdotes seemed to be pertinent It is not Hannah s fault, but I am used to academically rigorous approaches with clear goals and structured and wider data gathering with careful evaluation For those who have little understanding of psychology and emotional mental health, they may well find Hannah s light hearted non expert approach to the subject interesting and of value There are interesting points such as celebrities who have been public in the grudges they have held, and there are countless songs and movies on the topic From my own perspective, I have enjoyed a number of Hannah s novels, in my humble opinion, her fiction is much successful than her foray into non fiction here Many thanks to Hodder and Stoughton for an ARC flag 72 likesLike see review View all 17 comments Jan 18, 2019 Jennifer rated it liked it Shelves nonfiction, self help, self narrator audio, listened to audiobook, read 2019, stand alone novel Holding grudges doesn t have to fill us with hate or make us bitter and miserable If you approach the practice of grudge holding in an enlightened way, you ll find it does the opposite it makes you forgiving Your grudges can help you honor your personal emotional landmarks, and you can distill vital life lessons from them about your value system, hopes, needs and priorities that will act as a series of stepping stones pointing you in the right direction for the best possible futur Holding grudges doesn t have to fill us with hate or make us bitter and miserable If you approach the practice of grudge holding in an enlightened way, you ll find it does the opposite it makes you forgiving Your grudges can help you honor your personal emotional landmarks, and you can distill vital life lessons from them about your value system, hopes, needs and priorities that will act as a series of stepping stones pointing you in the right direction for the best possible future This is the premise of Sophie Hannah s self help book titled How to Hold a Grudge From Resentment to Contentment The Power of Grudges to Transform Your Life In her first attempt at nonfiction, Hannah redefines the word grudge into something productive She shows readers how they can use both positive and negative kept memories to strengthen boundary setting and decision making skills for the future Hannah introduces her Grudge fold Path a guide intended to help readers use grudges to their full advantage she incorporates quizzes to help process the information and she offers a ton of examples As a reader, I appreciated Hannah s perspective on this subject and her dedication to helping her readers live a healthier life However, based on my personal reading experience, the numerous examples caused the book to feel quite long and redundant after a while Regardless, there is always value in learning If any of this sounds like something you might benefit from, then check it out and see what you think Upon the last page, you ll either adopt a new personal growth practice or develop a new grudge Whichever way, Hannah s book clearly worked.My favorite quote You cannot control what other people think or how they feel, and you shouldn t try flag 33 likesLike see review View all 7 comments Oct 11, 2018 Anni rated it liked it review of another edition I am a great fan of Sophie Hannah s psychological thrillers, so this departure from her normal fictional output is quite a surprise and something of an eye opener, too.I suppose we would all like to believe we are too magnanimous to hold a grudge for long forgive and forget is the noble attitude to take but only saints are truly capable of this, so where does that leave the rest of us lesser mortals Sophie s lighthearted treatise does not advocate seeking vengeance, but explains why ther I am a great fan of Sophie Hannah s psychological thrillers, so this departure from her normal fictional output is quite a surprise and something of an eye opener, too.I suppose we would all like to believe we are too magnanimous to hold a grudge for long forgive and forget is the noble attitude to take but only saints are truly capable of this, so where does that leave the rest of us lesser mortals Sophie s lighthearted treatise does not advocate seeking vengeance, but explains why there are times when we need to take a stand and not feel guilty about it We shouldn t allow other people s inconsiderateness or even their cruelty to make us unhappy and affect our inner peace We should simply tell ourselves that their bad behaviour is their problem, not ours Moreover, according to the recommendation given here, when you feel that you have a genuine grievance, it is psychologically healthy and advisable to stand back and analyse the situation, so that it doesn t fester at the back of your mind without resolution or closure , as the Americans say then you can decide what to do about it I ve always wanted any present moment meanness or poor treatment of me or anyone else to stop so that I can start thinking about it because what could be gripping, right Is the person who did me this particular wrong dangerous, or was it a one off What should I think about them from now on How should I treat them Every time, it s a mystery that needs to be solved, and I m a mystery addict This probably explains why my day job is writing crime fiction and my hobby is reading it.Still feeling guilty Let this further piece of advice and a quote by Winston Churchill ease your conscience Holding a grudge is a statement of our own moral code Added to that, it increases the likelihood that we will treat ourselves with self respect, and therefore expect and demand to be treated respectfully by others It is a way of saying to oneself, as Winston Churchill so pithily put it, This is the sort of bloody nonsense up with which I will not put With thanks to the publisher for the ARC via Netgalley flag 11 likesLike see review View all 8 comments Dec 18, 2018 Kathy rated it did not like it review of another edition Shelves netgalley, 1 star not for me I truly wonder why Sophie Hannah wrote this book Successful in her other offerings, she does not have the qualifications, credentials or training to write a book based on psychology and it cannot be touted as a self help book when her aim seems to be talking about herself There may not be any current books about grudges, but is there really a need for one Does the world need people holding tight to every real or imagined slight That is what this book recommends Don t only hold on to yo I truly wonder why Sophie Hannah wrote this book Successful in her other offerings, she does not have the qualifications, credentials or training to write a book based on psychology and it cannot be touted as a self help book when her aim seems to be talking about herself There may not be any current books about grudges, but is there really a need for one Does the world need people holding tight to every real or imagined slight That is what this book recommends Don t only hold on to your grudges proudly , but look for instances where you have less than satisfactory interactions, write them down, and physically keep them in a special place, for they are your story and lessons of your life Then you can pull them out time and again to review them and treasure them Yes, TREASURE YOUR GRUDGES The author even categorizes her grudges naming well over 30 categories , as well as grades them according to their dreadfulness, impact, and intention She proudly talks about the ages of some of these grudges over thirty years YAY There are even rules for keeping and releasing grudges Does this sound over the top to anyone else I must also wonder if the author realizes that her book shows her in a bad light as a person who is easily upset with others who hurt her by not doing things, saying things or reacting in the precise way she thinks they should Her first example of a grudge in her book important because she could tell there was something meaningful happening as it happened tells of a time she stayed with a married couple The husband, Martin has a quirky obsession with his cat and must know where it is at all times The author found herself awakened during the night, when Martin turned on the lights, entered the guest room and was searching for his cat under her bed I agree this was totally inappropriate behavior on his part However, Ms Hannah admits Martin would throw himself in harms way if he felt she were being threatened and would not hesitate to help her should she be in need of anything However, she determined that she has a grudge against him because on a day to day basis when she is in no danger or need, Martin puts himself first She must remember that and take steps to protect herself Really You must PROTECT yourself from him Another adage cited in the book Vern and Fern visited the author and her two young children her husband was away It was dark when they were ready to leave The author said she would walk them out to their taxi as there was something she needed to get from her car They offered to stay in the house with the children who were in bed while she got what she needed She insisted at walking them out and so she did She was further infuriated when the taxi didn t leave and seemed to be waiting until she was safely back inside She internalized this as a judgement against her ability to parent her children or to know what to do should she get locked out of the house In her mind, she shouted out several F you Just F you abbreviation of the word mine before giving up and going into the house This too became a grudge against what I saw as a couple simply acting in a mannerly, concerned way.Ms Hannah is very dismissive of psychologists and well known authors in the field calling what they write a load of crap , which is disconcerting Most adults are well aware that not everything works out the way we d like We process our feeling, adapt if called for, note lessons learned, and move on with our lives We don t proudly keep a physical catalog of all missteps committed against us In another adage cited by the author, she asked her husband how would you categorize grudges I wouldn t Well if you had to I don t know, maybe x, y and z No, that s not the best way to do it I cut him off, excited by the idea I d just had He shrugged and left the room possibly holding a grudge because I d insisted that he participate in a conversation he didn t want to have, and then talked over him Self absorbed You bet Values others Not so much.Unfortunately, I know several people like this, and my lesson learned is that they tend to be controlling, wanting expecting others to react or voice their thoughts in a manner predetermined by the person needing to be in control to feel safe They also tend to be self absorbed, wanting every interaction to be about them No matter the topic of conversation they turn it around to themselves Unfortunately, most people, including myself, don t like to be around people like this as they soon tire of feeling judged and walking on eggshells.I don t want to spend the precious time I have on this earth cataloging, categorizing, grading, reviewing and TREASURING every wrong ever done to me Life is far too short Beyond that, there is such a thing as grace, and rising above Ms Hannah is very comfortable with her chosen focus I choose another path for my life I choose joy Please stick to fiction, Ms Hannah.Thanks to NetGalley and Scribner for allowing me to read an advanced copy of this book in exchange for an unbiased opinion flag 9 likesLike see review View all 6 comments Jan 05, 2019 Jackie rated it really liked it Shelves giveaways I won this as a giveaway It s a fun lighthearted book with a good message Grudges can be good, positive impacts in our lives if we can treat them that way The two issues I had with this book was 1 it wasn t academic or scientific Which is fine for this type of book The second was the types of grudges she gave examples of They really weren t big, huge, nasty grudges Some weren t really grudges Some were I was mildly unconvinced I think right of the bat she should have a big grudge I won this as a giveaway It s a fun lighthearted book with a good message Grudges can be good, positive impacts in our lives if we can treat them that way The two issues I had with this book was 1 it wasn t academic or scientific Which is fine for this type of book The second was the types of grudges she gave examples of They really weren t big, huge, nasty grudges Some weren t really grudges Some were I was mildly unconvinced I think right of the bat she should have a big grudge where feelings were hurt and confused and showed this is the lesion you could take from it I give the book 3.5 Honestly I don t know if I should round up or down I guess I ll round up so there s no reason for the author to hold a grudge on me flag 9 likesLike see review View 1 comment Oct 15, 2018 Sarah Connor rated it really liked it review of another edition I picked this up on a whim because the title was so very intriguing It sounded like the antithesis of most of the self help books that are out there Why would anyone want to hold a grudge Nasty, small minded, grubby things I finished it thinking I neede to buy a copy for just about every teenage girl I know This is not a book about holding onto pain or anger or ugliness It s a book about using those things to grow as an individual, and to learn how to protect yourself from painful exper I picked this up on a whim because the title was so very intriguing It sounded like the antithesis of most of the self help books that are out there Why would anyone want to hold a grudge Nasty, small minded, grubby things I finished it thinking I neede to buy a copy for just about every teenage girl I know This is not a book about holding onto pain or anger or ugliness It s a book about using those things to grow as an individual, and to learn how to protect yourself from painful experiences in the future That s so important We all experience pain in our relationships, to a greater or lesser extent Some people can just shrug it off, but some of us can t We need a way to process experiences so they don t damage us Once we ve done that, it s much easier to move on It s not possible or healthy to constantly ignore negative emotions, and it s not healthy to be perpetually consumed by them This book gives a structured way of reflecting on things and learning from them Oh, and it s funny, and friendly, and supportive It s the book equivalent of coffee and cake with your most generously understanding friend flag 7 likesLike see review Nov 11, 2018 Joodith rated it it was ok review of another edition It seems to me that, maybe during a period of writer s block, the author sat doodling for a while and came up with this I think it must be aimed at the Young Adult market, because as am Adult Adult I find the tone immature, silly and patronising.She makes the argument that grudges can actually be positive experiences, identifying different types of grudges, when indeed, if to let go of a grudge In fact she takes issue with the very definition of a grudge Apparently a couple of professiona It seems to me that, maybe during a period of writer s block, the author sat doodling for a while and came up with this I think it must be aimed at the Young Adult market, because as am Adult Adult I find the tone immature, silly and patronising.She makes the argument that grudges can actually be positive experiences, identifying different types of grudges, when indeed, if to let go of a grudge In fact she takes issue with the very definition of a grudge Apparently a couple of professional mental health experts cast their eyes over this work Who would have thought Using snippets from social media along with personal experience to back up her research she has sprinkled the book with Grudge Quizzes in order for readers to evaluate themselves Oh please This is the stuff of teenage magazines flag 4 likesLike see review Dec 21, 2018 Lesley rated it did not like it Shelves first reads I received How to Hold a Grudge for free through Giveaways program I had never read anything by Sophie Hannah and am not familiar with her work at all.I could see that this was supposed to be a charming, self help book in the guise of not being overly self help y for lack of a better word But I couldn t get in to it and gave up after skimming a few chapters If a psychiatrist or psychologist had written the book, I think I would have reacted differently in part because I would t I received How to Hold a Grudge for free through Giveaways program I had never read anything by Sophie Hannah and am not familiar with her work at all.I could see that this was supposed to be a charming, self help book in the guise of not being overly self help y for lack of a better word But I couldn t get in to it and gave up after skimming a few chapters If a psychiatrist or psychologist had written the book, I think I would have reacted differently in part because I would think there would be science and or data involved I can see how come people would this book charming, cute, or fun, but for me, a major grudge holder, I wanted to see some actual data science research rather than a bunch of anecdotes flag 3 likesLike see review Jan 23, 2019 Katie rated it it was ok What a strange little book that should have been a magazine article I think I picked it up because I saw an interesting review somewhere Not on and also because epic and permanent grudge holding is one of my few talents But this was a very strange book not worth the time to read, that required lots of skimming.At first, I thought it was a comical book written in the guise of a self help book I mean, who would really want a self help book about how to hold a grudge Either you alread What a strange little book that should have been a magazine article I think I picked it up because I saw an interesting review somewhere Not on and also because epic and permanent grudge holding is one of my few talents But this was a very strange book not worth the time to read, that required lots of skimming.At first, I thought it was a comical book written in the guise of a self help book I mean, who would really want a self help book about how to hold a grudge Either you already do it too much, or you don t and you don t want to start now But no, it was fully fleshed out into a self help book, complete with lengthy multiple choice quizzes about how to rate each grudge.Basically, most of the book was the author complaining A Festivus level airing of the grievances But long stories about people who have wronged you are only slightly interesting than hearing someone recount their dreams.I had to wonder, did she make all of them up Or are all these grudgees in her life now super pissed at her I often wonder that about memoirs Once you air your dirty laundry, don t you essentially have to go into the witness protection program Anyway, don t waste your time, BUT at least it does make you examine your grudges and if they re still worth holding, at least accept your anger and let it be and go do something else Still something I need to work on regularly flag 1 likeLike see review Nov 23, 2018 Jo Ann Duff Duffy The Writer rated it it was ok How To Hold A Grudge had me intrigued the moment I saw it The bright yellow cover, the shiny green foil spine and the title It was a triple threat But, could this book really teach me something, or is it a bit of a fad self care read with a few jokes along the way.Unfortunately, it was the latter for me, which is sad because I had such high hopes You see, I can burn with resentment in a heartbeat if I feel excluded or a cutting comment is flung in my direction without warning If people t How To Hold A Grudge had me intrigued the moment I saw it The bright yellow cover, the shiny green foil spine and the title It was a triple threat But, could this book really teach me something, or is it a bit of a fad self care read with a few jokes along the way.Unfortunately, it was the latter for me, which is sad because I had such high hopes You see, I can burn with resentment in a heartbeat if I feel excluded or a cutting comment is flung in my direction without warning If people take advantage of me, I m immediately in grudge mode and I definitely take bad customer service personally So, why didn t this book deliver for me The Bible tells us to love our neighbours and also to love our enemies probably because generally they are the same people G.K ChestertonWell, it wasn t all bad, I just couldn t take it seriously, or glean any practical tips to help me in my grudgefest A pretty large chunk of the book is filled with funny anecdotes and conversations, but after a while, I started skipping pages, which any book blogger knows is a bad sign There are also some quizzes and steps to understand, categorise and file your grudge away in a grudge cabinet This is where I started to drift and couldn t be reeled back in I just don t have the time to go through all these steps and spend so much time thinking about a grudge My process is to simply seethe with rage, over analyse the situation, think about it at 4am for a day or two and then move on.You see, I am not malicious, or I could easily insert here the name of some twaddler against whom I have a grudgekin Anthony TrollopeThe premise of this book is right, that grudges aren t that bad, we all have them and the trick is to recognise them and not pretend to be this peace and love ball promoting memes about forgiveness and letting go That s rubbish, even if it s for a fleeting moment we have negative feelings, real or imagined Some of us move on quickly and others, well hold a grudge The author of How To Hold A Grudge is the extremely talented crime fiction writer Sophie Hannah and this is a bit of a departure to the realms of self care For me, it just didn t click and I have to ironically admit to holding a grudge about my lost reading time flag 1 likeLike see review Jan 02, 2019 Dana rated it liked it review of another edition Shelves 2019, netgalley As a fan of Sophie Hannah s writing I was very interested to read this book I can t decide whether it is really a self help book or whether it is merely written tongue in cheek Having said that it was very interesting and definitely gave me food for thought while also causing me to laugh out loud on several occasions.It was well written and I could almost hear Sophie s voice in the writing Because of the subject it was a bit repetitive in places while the questions were repeated in order to s As a fan of Sophie Hannah s writing I was very interested to read this book I can t decide whether it is really a self help book or whether it is merely written tongue in cheek Having said that it was very interesting and definitely gave me food for thought while also causing me to laugh out loud on several occasions.It was well written and I could almost hear Sophie s voice in the writing Because of the subject it was a bit repetitive in places while the questions were repeated in order to score points for the grudge level to be ascertained.It was light hearted and I don t think it was meant to be taken too seriously Nevertheless if it makes people handle their grudges in a reasonable fashion and make people feel better about themselves all well and good.There is also a series of podcasts on the same subject of which I have listened to two episodes so far which follows on from the book and is well worth listening to.Many thanks to Netgalley Sophie Hannah Hodder Stoughton for a digital copy of this title All opinions expressed are my own flag Like see review Jan 10, 2019 Linda Munro rated it liked it I received this book via a giveaway This is what caught my attention The first and only comprehensive examination of the universal but widely misunderstood practice of grudge holding that will show you how to use grudges to be your happiest, most optimistic, and most forgiving self To be honest, I was truly unsure what this book would entail Now, I will tell you what I found Some pretty funny grudge stories sprinkled throughout Some grudge stories entailed anger that has simmered I received this book via a giveaway This is what caught my attention The first and only comprehensive examination of the universal but widely misunderstood practice of grudge holding that will show you how to use grudges to be your happiest, most optimistic, and most forgiving self To be honest, I was truly unsure what this book would entail Now, I will tell you what I found Some pretty funny grudge stories sprinkled throughout Some grudge stories entailed anger that has simmered for years And some, non psychologist advice concerning grudges specifically turning harmful grudges into positive attributes to your life, via banishing the negative emotions that are so often associated with grudges.If you are a person who adamantly holds grudges and finds your blood pressure boiling, accepting some of the advice in these pages to turn your life in a positive direction.A definite 3.5 star book for the average person and a 10 star for those who hold until the negativity so often associated with grudges flag Like see review Jan 07, 2019 Judith rated it liked it An interesting angle on staying with and working through feelings and self esteem issues However she sometimes implies that buddhists and others who probably know better expect practitioners to forgive and forget without having fully experienced their feelings, that is just not so She and her expert consultants are not first with that idea but presenting collecting grudges in a healthy way is original and a bit entertaining There is a huge emphasis on eventual forgiveness which reveals a Chri An interesting angle on staying with and working through feelings and self esteem issues However she sometimes implies that buddhists and others who probably know better expect practitioners to forgive and forget without having fully experienced their feelings, that is just not so She and her expert consultants are not first with that idea but presenting collecting grudges in a healthy way is original and a bit entertaining There is a huge emphasis on eventual forgiveness which reveals a Christian or at least Abrahamic bias By not blaming people for their circumstances and recognizing that if we were them we would act like them we can stay with not blaming instead of having to work through anger to forgiveness I suspect that would make her process easier.That said recognizing and accepting how we feel is a huge benefit however we do it, if this works for you do it I could not personally be bothered rating grudges though flag Like see review Feb 01, 2019 Jerrid Kruse rated it did not like it I was hopeful when the book noted that no one had written a book about grudges and that the author intended explore this psychological phenomenon Unfortunately, explore seems to mean tell stories about stuff that happened to you and draw broad generalizations from an N of 1 and informal discussions with your partner Some of the stories were entertaining, but the advice, conclusions drawn, and the instrument were not very at all scientific I suppose this is how personality types got starte I was hopeful when the book noted that no one had written a book about grudges and that the author intended explore this psychological phenomenon Unfortunately, explore seems to mean tell stories about stuff that happened to you and draw broad generalizations from an N of 1 and informal discussions with your partner Some of the stories were entertaining, but the advice, conclusions drawn, and the instrument were not very at all scientific I suppose this is how personality types got started too, but that research has been widely discredited So, read and apply with caution If you re looking for entertainment, it s ok flag Like see review Jan 23, 2019 Susan rated it it was amazing I picked this book on a whim I am so glad I did Hannah makes some great arguments for the benefits of acknowledging that grudges are not always the wrong thing to have, it is how we handle them that matters There is much we can learn from having them as often they serve to protect us She also points out that we can be the subject of other people s grudges, something we should all keep in mind There is a great deal to think about pertaining to grudges so I can see where referring back to thi I picked this book on a whim I am so glad I did Hannah makes some great arguments for the benefits of acknowledging that grudges are not always the wrong thing to have, it is how we handle them that matters There is much we can learn from having them as often they serve to protect us She also points out that we can be the subject of other people s grudges, something we should all keep in mind There is a great deal to think about pertaining to grudges so I can see where referring back to this book will be something I do in the future Thank you Sophie Hannah for writing a great book about a topic that we all can learn from flag Like see review Jan 31, 2019 Janet rated it did not like it Shelves didn t finish don t plan to I think I am going to let this book go unfinished I picked it up thinking it would be funny While it is light in tone, I feel as though the author has taken a word with an agreed upon definition she include four dictionary definitions in the text and decided to commandeer it to mean something else Near as I can tell, her book could be titled How to hold onto Life Lessons From Resentment to Contentment the Power of Life Lessons to Transform Your Life Maybe if I read on I would come to I think I am going to let this book go unfinished I picked it up thinking it would be funny While it is light in tone, I feel as though the author has taken a word with an agreed upon definition she include four dictionary definitions in the text and decided to commandeer it to mean something else Near as I can tell, her book could be titled How to hold onto Life Lessons From Resentment to Contentment the Power of Life Lessons to Transform Your Life Maybe if I read on I would come to accept her definition, but I think I ll stick with the long accepted definition flag Like see review Jan 07, 2019 Terri Layton rated it it was amazing I LOVE this book It felt great to know that I m not crazy for feeling the way I do about certain situations It s very insightful into why we react to certain situations in our lives This book really validated my own experiences with people in my life I recommend this book It s entertaining and insightful flag Like see review Oct 29, 2018 Andrea rated it really liked it Shelves arc Worth reading through to the end if only for the writer s personal and collected accounts of grudgeworthy events that validate the readers own I like that the writer sought additional feedback from multiple experts on the matter I received a free digital copy of the book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review flag Like see review Jan 06, 2019 Quanita rated it it was amazing review of another edition Lessons Learned and Benefits Gained by Holding Grudges Approach your grudges by analyzing them and learning from them It s a novel approach that I think can really work Hannah s conversational style is easy to read and absorb Grudge holding erases hatred and self loathing, allowing you to move on I m definitely going to try it flag Like see review Jan 22, 2019 Melinda Spoelstra rated it really liked it Loved this book I personally don t care that she s not a licensed therapist as I feel degrees can be over rated at times She definitely has an interesting take on holding grudges Not all her ideas are beneficial in my opinion but she shed great light on tackling them and working through them in a very positive manner Really enjoyed this book flag Like see review Jan 19, 2019 Jay Hill rated it it was ok Thank you to Netgalley and the publishers for the opportunity to read and review this book.As a grudge holder myself, this was a lighthearted read although it became a bit too monotonous for me There was enough humour sprinkled throughout to keep me reading until the end 2 stars flag Like see review Jan 12, 2019 Kris Springer rated it really liked it Boy was this a fun book Really funny, insightful and inspiring about grudges Helps the reader to think about what is most important in her life and stand up for that, and in so doing, protecting one s self A 4.5 out of 5 stars This would be a great book club book flag Like see review Jan 27, 2019 Christine rated it it was ok Everything you ever wanted to know about grudges, including why they can be useful ie reminds you of behavior from which you want to stay away But do you really want to know all that much about grudges flag Like see review Dec 19, 2018 Stephanie rated it it was ok Shelves 2018, arc, december Lighthearted and long winded flag Like see review Jan 26, 2019 Ellen Loulou rated it liked it Fun self help book flag Like see review Jan 21, 2019 Ross Cohen rated it liked it Immensely enjoyable, though her grudge fold path isn t for me flag Like see review Jan 29, 2019 Christine Sopko rated it really liked it This balances the idea that you shouldnt hold grudges Some people are invested in it than others, and some people have a better memory than others I found it intriguing and well thought out flag Like see review Jan 09, 2019 Dawn Ferencz rated it really liked it I thought this was an interesting take and very readable, although I didn t agree with all of it flag Like see review Jan 06, 2019 Brahm Kornbluth rated it really liked it Great way to to start the New Year with a change of pace from my favourite mystery author fun than life changing, but did get me to think about real life in a different way flag Like see review Oct 20, 2018 Brandy Wilson rated it it was amazing Loved everything about this book flag Like see review previous 1 2 3 4 next new topicDiscuss This Book There are no discussion topics on this book yet Be the first to start one Share Recommend It Stats Recent Status Updates Readers Also Enjoyed

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    • µ How to Hold a Grudge: From Resentment to Contentment—The Power of Grudges to Transform Your Life || ✓ PDF Read by ☆ Sophie Hannah
      143 Sophie Hannah
    • thumbnail Title: µ How to Hold a Grudge: From Resentment to Contentment—The Power of Grudges to Transform Your Life || ✓ PDF Read by ☆ Sophie Hannah
      Posted by:Sophie Hannah
      Published :2018-012-25T05:00:45+00:00

    About "Sophie Hannah"

      • Sophie Hannah

        Sophie Hannah is an internationally bestselling writer of psychological crime fiction, published in 27 countries In 2013, her latest novel, The Carrier, won the Crime Thriller of the Year Award at the Specsavers National Book Awards Two of Sophie s crime novels, The Point of Rescue and The Other Half Lives, have been adapted for television and appeared on ITV1 under the series title Case Sensiti Sophie Hannah is an internationally bestselling writer of psychological crime fiction, published in 27 countries In 2013, her latest novel, The Carrier, won the Crime Thriller of the Year Award at the Specsavers National Book Awards Two of Sophie s crime novels, The Point of Rescue and The Other Half Lives, have been adapted for television and appeared on ITV1 under the series title Case Sensitive in 2011 and 2012 In 2004, Sophie won first prize in the Daphne Du Maurier Festival Short Story Competition for her suspense story The Octopus Nest, which is now published in her first collection of short stories, The Fantastic Book of Everybody s Secrets Sophie has also published five collections of poetry Her fifth, Pessimism for Beginners, was shortlisted for the 2007 T S Eliot Award Her poetry is studied at GCSE, A level and degree level across the UK From 1997 to 1999 she was Fellow Commoner in Creative Arts at Trinity College, Cambridge, and between 1999 and 2001 she was a fellow of Wolfson College, Oxford She is forty one and lives with her husband and children in Cambridge, where she is a Fellow Commoner at Lucy Cavendish College She is currently working on a new challenge for the little grey cells of Hercule Poirot, Agatha Christie s famous detective


    746 Comments

    1. On almost a whim Sophie Hannah decides to write a book on grudges, a topic she discovers no one else has ever written about Holding grudges is a universal psychological phenomena and although Hannah has no mental health background or experience, she feels comfortable tackling the topic, with the help of two mental health practitioners looking over her work She takes issue with the definition of a grudge, identifies different types and themes of grudges, and when to let go of a grudge She make On [...]


    2. Holding grudges doesn t have to fill us with hate or make us bitter and miserable If you approach the practice of grudge holding in an enlightened way, you ll find it does the opposite it makes you forgiving Your grudges can help you honor your personal emotional landmarks, and you can distill vital life lessons from them about your value system, hopes, needs and priorities that will act as a series of stepping stones pointing you in the right direction for the best possible futur H [...]


    3. I am a great fan of Sophie Hannah s psychological thrillers, so this departure from her normal fictional output is quite a surprise and something of an eye opener, too.I suppose we would all like to believe we are too magnanimous to hold a grudge for long forgive and forget is the noble attitude to take but only saints are truly capable of this, so where does that leave the rest of us lesser mortals Sophie s lighthearted treatise does not advocate seeking vengeance, but explains why ther I am a [...]


    4. I truly wonder why Sophie Hannah wrote this book Successful in her other offerings, she does not have the qualifications, credentials or training to write a book based on psychology and it cannot be touted as a self help book when her aim seems to be talking about herself There may not be any current books about grudges, but is there really a need for one Does the world need people holding tight to every real or imagined slight That is what this book recommends Don t only hold on to yo I truly [...]


    5. I won this as a giveaway It s a fun lighthearted book with a good message Grudges can be good, positive impacts in our lives if we can treat them that way The two issues I had with this book was 1 it wasn t academic or scientific Which is fine for this type of book The second was the types of grudges she gave examples of They really weren t big, huge, nasty grudges Some weren t really grudges Some were I was mildly unconvinced I think right of the bat she should have a big grudge I won this as [...]


    6. I picked this up on a whim because the title was so very intriguing It sounded like the antithesis of most of the self help books that are out there Why would anyone want to hold a grudge Nasty, small minded, grubby things I finished it thinking I neede to buy a copy for just about every teenage girl I know This is not a book about holding onto pain or anger or ugliness It s a book about using those things to grow as an individual, and to learn how to protect yourself from painful exper I picked [...]


    7. It seems to me that, maybe during a period of writer s block, the author sat doodling for a while and came up with this I think it must be aimed at the Young Adult market, because as am Adult Adult I find the tone immature, silly and patronising.She makes the argument that grudges can actually be positive experiences, identifying different types of grudges, when indeed, if to let go of a grudge In fact she takes issue with the very definition of a grudge Apparently a couple of professiona It see [...]


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