Touch Me, I'm Sick: The 52 Creepiest Love Songs You've Ever Heard

Touch Me, I'm Sick: The 52 Creepiest Love Songs You've Ever Heard

TomReynolds / Apr 23, 2019

Touch Me I m Sick The Creepiest Love Songs You ve Ever Heard Love once inspired sonnets plays novels and countless romantic songs But romance can become obsession and nowadays love songs are creepier than ever Even the Police s stalker anthem Every Breath

  • Title: Touch Me, I'm Sick: The 52 Creepiest Love Songs You've Ever Heard
  • Author: TomReynolds
  • ISBN: 9781556527531
  • Page: 201
  • Format: Paperback
  • Love once inspired sonnets, plays, novels, and countless romantic songs But romance can become obsession, and nowadays, love songs are creepier than ever Even the Police s stalker anthem Every Breath You Take is a popular choice at weddings and funerals.In Touch Me, I m Sick, Tom Reynolds offers hilarious riffs on 52 love songs that have gone off the rails into the reaLove once inspired sonnets, plays, novels, and countless romantic songs But romance can become obsession, and nowadays, love songs are creepier than ever Even the Police s stalker anthem Every Breath You Take is a popular choice at weddings and funerals.In Touch Me, I m Sick, Tom Reynolds offers hilarious riffs on 52 love songs that have gone off the rails into the realm of the tawdry, the overwhelming, the obsessive, the self absorbed, and the completely weird Including songs by artists as diverse as Melissa Etheridge, Michael Jackson, Paul Anka, Sin ad O Connor, and Slipknot, he also pillories a handful of the 1,700 different songs called Butterfly Praise for Tom Reynolds I Hate Myself and Want to Die A tremendous idea Reynolds ameliorates the pain of having put his ear up close to some of the most inconsiderate despair anthems of our time by having enormous fun deconstructing them The Sunday Times Full of premium trivia and pinpoint pomposity pricking, Reynolds has made comedy gold from the full base metal of misery An entertaining and well researched set of cautionary tales music fans will enjoy Consider the list a batch of enthralling liner notes for a box set that comes with razor blades Playboy Bridget Jones would love it The Scotsman

    CAPTAINS Touch Me, I m Driving Vdeo Oficial YouTube Mar , Vdeoclip de Touch Me, Im Driving dirigido y realizado por David Ferrando Giraut, de la cancin de CAPTAINS David Baldo Fee Reega incluida en su disco Touch Me, I m Karen Taylor Touch Me, I m Karen Taylor is a British television sketch comedy show written and performed by BAFTA Award winning comedian Karen Taylor and produced by Avalon Productions The genre of the show focuses largely on sex and contains much innuendo. Mudhoney Touch Me I m Sick Lyrics Genius Lyrics Touch me I m sick Touch me I m sick Come on baby, now, come with me If you don t come If you don t come If you don t come You ll die alone Woah I m diseased And I don t mind And I m gonna make Samantha Fox Touch Me I Want Your Body YouTube Apr , Touch me, touch me I want to feel your body Your heartbeat next to mine This is the night Cause I want your body All the time Ah, touch me, touch me, touch me This is the night Touch me, touch me Touch Me, I m Karen Taylor TV Series Mar , Touch Me I m Karen Taylor is one of THE best things I ve seen on TV in a while definitely the best comedy Joanna and Baby gets me every time the pure talent portrayed by Karen is amazing. Don t Touch Me I m Feeling FanFiction I m really sorry, Author And I m really sorry to you guys as well, because now I feel like such a disappointment, and a copyer Please forgive me And this is no one s fault but my own, don t worry. Mudhoney Touch Me I m Sick Lyrics MetroLyrics Touch me I m sick Yeah Touch me I m sick Come on, baby Now come with me If you don t come If you don t come If you don t come You ll die alone Whoooa I m diseased And I don t mind Gunna make you love me Til the day you die C mon Touch me I m sick Fuck me I m sick

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      Published :2018-010-11T02:02:25+00:00

    About "TomReynolds"

      • TomReynolds

        There are many great humour writers alive now If essays in particular and a savage outlook are your thing, here s the best Read the collected Merrill Markoe, Jon Ronson, Mark Steel, Cintra Wilson, Dave Barry, Craig Brown, John Crace, Tim Dowling, Guy Browning, Patricia Marx, Will Ferguson, Bill Bryson, TOM REYNOLDS, Paul Rudnick, Ian Frazier, John O Farrell, Armando Iannucci and Nicholas Lezard.Tom Reynolds I HATE MYSELF AND WANT TO DIE is a painful analysis of the American pop ballad, a comedy classic Toronto Star columnist Heather Mallick in THE GUARDIAN, June 25, 2013 ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY Ten Things We Love This Week 3 I HATE MYSELF AND I WANT TO DIE, by Tom Reynolds This roundup of 52 of the most maudlin songs ever penned, from Manilow to Metallica, will move you to tears of despair or shrieks of helpless laughter DANNY HUTTON, co founder THREE DOG NIGHT A cunning, devastating autopsy I found myself strangely attracted SEB HUNTER, author, HELL BENT FOR LEATHER and ROCK ME, AMADEUS Here is incontrovertible proof that pop stars are all healthy, well adjusted individuals I laughed and self harmed in equal measure PLAYBOY There must be a section of Tom Reynolds s record collection that wards off disc jockeys like a cross repels vampires The writer TV producer s steep descent into depressing pop music, I Hate Myself and Want to Die is a humorous song by song analysis of the most egregious examples of audio torture Its title may sound like a hackneyed VH1 special, but Reynolds steps above pointless banter by demonstrating some serious scholarship ANNE STEPHENSON, THE REPUBLIC To write a book like this, you need a working knowledge of music recorded over the past 70 years and an astute and merciless sense of humor Tom Reynolds is our man ROB LESTER, EDGE MAGAZINE What makes this book so worthwhile and than just cathartic oh, it is that is the humor Reynolds language is colorful and clever and his greatest skills are sarcasm and funny, funny exaggeration for effect Smug Absolutely But it s mostly a hoot PUCKNATION I Hate Myself and Want to Die is one of the most brilliant looks at music and popular culture I ve read in a long time This collection of essays rips through music with ludicrous comments, humor and sarcasm Reynolds knack for timing and wit allows him to tear seemlessly through these songs, with great results.An instant classic and perfect bathroom reading PUBLISHER S WEEKLY Thoughtful and vivid This should start many debates among pop music die hards NEW MUSIC EXPRESS NME Full of premium trivia and pinpoint pomposity pricking, Reynolds has made comedy gold from the full base metal of misery WHAT S ON IN LONDON A sustained and superbly observed insight into some of rock music s most memorable follies, it is an absolute must read Brilliant UNCUT Magazine Tom Reynolds, an American TV producer who manages to combine the wit of Dave Barry with the musical tastes of a bath towel, takes a simple concept and pulls great big inappropriate belly laughs from it.Genius ROCKNWORLD Don tcha just love discovering a book that is too funny to be read in public, that makes eating or drinking while reading it a sure way to choke die What makes the subject matter of this book even better is its importance truthHis treatments of Evanescence s entry on the list Metallica are so funny that I wish I could quote the entire chapters here UNDER THE RADAR Reynold s casual, comedic prose suits the subject well, conjuring up than a few laugh out loud moments FEATURED ARTICLES REVIEWSEsquire Newsday Rolling Stone Germany New Music Express Macleans Canada Los Angeles Times Boston Herald Austin Chronicle Minneapolis Star Tribune Arizona Republic BBC News, RTE 1, Guardian UK, The Independent, Vogue, Sunday Mail AU Under the Radar Magazine Paperc


    567 Comments

    1. Decent send up of creepy love songsWe need to first acknowledge that everyone has their own version of creepy love songs. For me, this book is missing an entire section: I've Been Watching You Grow Up, Now You're Old Enough To Bone. See also, many '50's and 60's love songs. (Shudder.)I enjoyed the author's first book on depressing songs and wanted to give this one a go as well. It surprised me with some song meanings (Alive, really?) but I wasn't familiar enough with some of the others to know t [...]


    2. I loved Reynolds' book skewering depressing pop songs ("I Hate Myself and I Want to Die"), and this collection is just as funny. He doesn't actually hate everything he covers--he likes the band Angels F*ck, and the German metal group Rammstein, among others--but he pokes holes in the hubris and pretension of so many deserving targets, with a pen (or rather, a cursor) dipped in acid. His "dear diary" chapter on "Fergalicious" is just one highlight. It's a great, funny book that says things we all [...]


    3. HAHA! This was even better than Reynold's last offering. Upon opening this book at random, the first phrase my eyes fell on was, and I quote, "makes Black Sabbath sound like John Denver" (Now that's seriously creepy! Come to think of it, John Denver in general is seriously creepyd not just because of the Final Destination movie thing which, by the way, was totally lame). That and how much I enjoyed Reynold's "I Hate Myself and Want to Die" got me interested enough to keep on reading. In this boo [...]


    4. After reading this book you will never listen to “Thank Heaven for Little Girls” or “Every Breath You Take” in quite the same way. I hooted, howled and giggled uncontrollably at the author’s snarky and irreverent song descriptions. His first book, I Hate Myself and Want to Die: 52 of the Most Depressing Songs You’ve Ever Heard, was also hysterically funny.


    5. I am so glad I'm not the only person who finds the idea of muskrat canoodling repugnant. This was hilarious.


    6. This is the second book of Mr. Reynolds in which he skewers both popular and obscure music.The first book focused on depressing songs. This one goes after the standard favorite- the love song.Mr. Reynolds is an engaging writer,knows how to put a book together well and at times can be laugh out loud funny.The problem is he can be equally offensive too.I'm pretty sure he is well aware of this. Both books have had things about God/religion in them that I personally found offensive.So offensive that [...]


    7. The more I get into blogging and nonfiction writing, the more I realize some of the inherent difficulties. Particularly, when you're writing short pieces that cover similar ground, it's very hard to stay original. That's why I have to admire this little book.Reynolds takes 52 love songs, introduces them in a funny way, analyzes their content, and then makes a case for why they are creepy. What impressed me is that first, he's wickedly funny, and second, he manages to be funny in many different w [...]


    8. If you're anything like me, you'll have spent many a drunken hour debating the best/worst, most depressing/uplifting, or sexiest/creepiest songs you've heard. So a book on the creepiest love songs is right up my alley.Encompassing both the intentionally and unintentionally creepy, this consists of both some excellent and some truly shit songs (my opinion on which these are differs at times to the author, who gets a glove-slap for making disparaging remarks about Eddie Vedder and Nick Cave, my im [...]


    9. I didn't like this one nearly as much as "I Hate Myself and Want to Die." The concept was stretched a little too far. I would have preferred a greater number of the songs to be primarily either unintentionally creepy or songs that are deceptively happy sounding. It might just be because he mentioned so many times that he had a hard time finding songs to put on the list, but I kept thinking that he might have been better off with a different topic.I still finished it in just two sittings, and I h [...]


    10. Reynolds skewers “The 52 Creepiest Love Songs You’ve Ever Heard.” Well, sometimes he skewers; often he just analyzes them. The book is funny, but nowhere near as funny as Dave Barry’s Book of Bad Songs, which is the super-high standard I have to hold books like this against. I also wish Reynolds had focused less on songs that are intentionally creepy, like “Every Breath You Take” and “Possession,” and more on songs that are creepy because of some other factor, like the creator's [...]


    11. My current creepiest love song has got to be Steve Carlsson's 'Pinata Nova' where he sings "I don't know why, I'm always trying to get inside of you". Hmm, maybe because you're a man Steve and your brains are in your trousers. And likening his woman to a pinata, which from my understanding of American culture is something you hang up and beat with a big stick until it's innards burst out, doesn't seem that romantic. Reynolds takes 52 various love songs in a similar vein and discusses what makes [...]


    12. A hilarious look at 52 of the creepiest love songs both the intentional and the unintentional.Featuring songs such as; Creep by RadioheadYou Oughta Know by Alanis Morrisette (although Reynolds does say that “there’s nothing more terrifying to men than a woman’s anger, especially if there’s a good reason for it.”)Your Body Is A Wonderland by John MayerPossession by Sarah McLachlanAlive by Pearl JamFather Figure by George MichaelReynolds isn’t saying that these songs are bad, just that [...]


    13. This book should have been funnier than it was. The idea struck me as good and I'd seen a good review of the book, so I sent for it from the public library and am glad I didn't buy it. While it's not awful, neither is it the kind of book I'd be going back to over and over for the laughs.There are a few entries that are rewarding, mostly due to the writer's humerus turn of phrase. But there are also a few songs in the book that are pretty obviously in the book for a reason. Others the author had [...]


    14. Read this on a whim, I thought of the Gavin Edwards misheard lyrics books when I first saw this on the shelf at the library. It is more complex than the Edwards books, which just list the original lyric and the misheard versions below. Reynolds breaks down the songs into chords, time signatures and then the lyrics, where the meat of his snarkiness lies. Songs are broken down into categories and some choices are obvious such as "You're Beautiful" and "I've Never Been to Me." A few are surprising [...]


    15. This is a book I never get tired of - in turns funny, intelligent and occasionally heartbreaking, this list of 52 of the creepiest songs ever made has something for everybody. Crazy songs ranging in genres from country to death metal? Check. Scary sounding foreign songs about even scarier subjects? Check. Taking the p-ss out of some of the world's most famous artists? Check. Dialogue that simultaneously makes you want to pee your pants laughing AND go out and You Tube Every.Single.One of these s [...]


    16. I cannot BELIEVE he left out the creepiest song of all time: Into the Night by Benny Mardones:"She's just sixteen years oldLeave her alone, they say.But I want you to knowIf I could flyI'd pick you upI'd take you into the nightAnd show you a loveLike you've never seen - ever seen"And it's about his neighbor's daughter!! He's the creepy 30 year old who lives downstairs and stares at this poor girl. This is the ickiest looking man ever, all sweaty and greasy. This song is so disgusting, I want to [...]


    17. Definitely loved this one as well,just like the other by Tom it is true to cover name and creepy cool all the same. And I am in it but different name but still really nice as I was going through rough times back then,was happy to help,seems like only a short time ago actually but years ago,read both a few times. If you haven't read this book of creepy love songs you should give it a go if you like books like this,I do.:) Kayla


    18. While I thoroughly enjoyed the author's book of most depressing songs, this follow-up volume of creepiest love songs was more of an acquired taste. I think it was a combination of the first book raising my expectations too high and of some of the novelty of the author's unique brand of humor wearing off.Did I like it? Eventually.Would I reread it? I've skimmed through it more than once.Would I recommend it? Maybe.


    19. Not as compelling a read as 'I Hate Myself and Want to Die', due perhaps to a slightly weaker central theme, but Reynolds writes just as well, with wit and a clear musical knowledge bringing together the creepiest love songs from many different genres. Again this gave me great amusement when reading about songs I know about, and persuaded me to find others that I wasn't familiar with to listen to too. Clever and stimulating.


    20. The humor was still there, and I laughed at several of the entries, but it just wasn't as good as I Hate Myself and Want to Die: the 52 Most Depressing Songs You've Ever Heard. Maybe it's just because I wasn't as familiar with as many of the songs in this one as I was the first, or maybe it's just tired.


    21. 26 June 08A very entertaining read, but not nearly as funny as 'I Hate Myself' was.------This promises to be as entertaining as the first one we readI'm guessing 'Every Breath You Take' is in here; no doubt its high on my top 10 list of creepo songs. Can someone explain to me why this cheerless dirge about obsessive stalking is a staple at wedding receptions??


    22. Regrettably, I know most of the culprits listed here (Ironically enough, I still do listen to most of the songs here, though I've always found their lyrics problematic). Tom Reynolds' observations are humorous and spot-on ((view spoiler)[ For a good laugh, see his personal anecdote surrounding "Afternoon Delight" by The Starland Vocal Band. (hide spoiler)]).


    23. This was actually a pretty funny book. I want to read his first book, the most depressing love songs, too, now. Some of the songs/analyses were just okay, but some (like the Perfect Storms section, including Whiskey Lullaby) were totally laugh out loud hilarious. It's a good book just for skimming through and he does a good job of finding songs from all eras and genres.


    24. This was a quick and funny read. For the most part I knew almost all the songs in the book (which was nice); many of them will now be viewed slightly different. All in all, this book was great for a quick laugh.


    25. Not as rolling-on-the-floor hilarious as the previous "I Hate Myself and Want to Die", but still raises a giggle. Reynolds is clearly a man who knows his music, and isn't afraid to take a hit for the team when it comes to listening to some truly awful tunes.


    26. I really enjoyed this book, and Reynold's selection of songs was generally agreeable and funny. Though I'm sure he picked some songs just as an excuse to tell us how much he disliked them, which I'm sure I would also be guilty of if I ever wrote a book of similar genre.Great Book.


    27. I love the idea of this book, but it's actually a pretty ignorant view of the music. I felt like re-writing it myself!



    28. Interesting and fairly amusing book on the creepiest love songs ever sung. Pity that half of them are totally unknown to me.


    29. Interesting look at some fairly disturbing songs. Would have been nice to have the lyrics of more songs present.


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