Out of Control: Why Disciplining Your Child Doesn't Work and What Will

Out of Control: Why Disciplining Your Child Doesn't Work and What Will

Shefali Tsabary / Aug 21, 2019

Out of Control Why Disciplining Your Child Doesn t Work and What Will Every parent wants the golden key to raising well behaved academically gifted successful happy children Embedded in the collective psyche is the notion that discipline is the cornerstone to achievi

  • Title: Out of Control: Why Disciplining Your Child Doesn't Work and What Will
  • Author: Shefali Tsabary
  • ISBN: 9781897238769
  • Page: 397
  • Format: Paperback
  • Every parent wants the golden key to raising well behaved, academically gifted, successful, happy children Embedded in the collective psyche is the notion that discipline is the cornerstone to achieving these goals Out of Control offers a never before published perspective on why the entire premise of discipline is flawed Dr Shefali Tsabary reveals how discipline is aEvery parent wants the golden key to raising well behaved, academically gifted, successful, happy children Embedded in the collective psyche is the notion that discipline is the cornerstone to achieving these goals Out of Control offers a never before published perspective on why the entire premise of discipline is flawed Dr Shefali Tsabary reveals how discipline is a major cause of generations of dysfunction The author goes to the heart of the problems parents have with children, challenging society s dependence on discipline, daring readers to let go of fear based ideologies and replace them with an approach that draws parent and child together The key is ongoing meaningful connection between parent and child, free from threats, deprivation, punishment, and timeouts all forms of manipulation Parents learn how to enter into deep communion with their children, understanding the reasons for a behavior and how to bring out the best in the child Far from a laissez faire, anything goes, approach, this is how a child learns responsibility and takes ownership of their life, equipped with character and resilience that flow naturally from within.

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    • Free Read [Travel Book] ↠ Out of Control: Why Disciplining Your Child Doesn't Work and What Will - by Shefali Tsabary ✓
      397 Shefali Tsabary
    • thumbnail Title: Free Read [Travel Book] ↠ Out of Control: Why Disciplining Your Child Doesn't Work and What Will - by Shefali Tsabary ✓
      Posted by:Shefali Tsabary
      Published :2018-012-21T08:00:42+00:00

    About "Shefali Tsabary"

      • Shefali Tsabary

        Shefali Tsabary Is a well-known author, some of his books are a fascination for readers like in the Out of Control: Why Disciplining Your Child Doesn't Work and What Will book, this is one of the most wanted Shefali Tsabary author readers around the world.


    651 Comments

    1. Another book from my daughter who has a 2 year old son. She is right on, this is an excellent book for parents with children. I submit it is worth it for teachers and anyone who deals with youth.The major premise of this book and for Ms. Tsabary's other book "Out of Control" is that 'discipline' as most of us know it is not the way to actually help our children grow and succeed in the world. Discipline means to teach, not to threat, hit, scold, berate, pick on, howler at, belittle, etc our child [...]


    2. This is perhaps the most useful parenting book I have read. The title doesn't do it justice. I would have called it something far more positive - like the content within the pages.The author teaches methods for connecting with your children by analyzing the feelings behind the behavior. And encourages parents to really consider what baggage and expectations that they are bringing to the conflict. Good for parents of all age children. I am grateful to have found it early in my boys' development.


    3. Well, she certainly waxed eloquent about "why disciplining your child doesn't work" but never got to the "and what will." I loved and agreed with the idea of trying to get behind the child's behavior and figure out the motivation — but the truth is, sometimes the motivation just doesn't matter, if the behavior is unacceptable, and there has to be a good way to handle THAT. Just trying really hard to be an understanding, empathetic parent does not, in fact, prevent meltdowns or irrational behav [...]


    4. 1.5 stars This book came highly recommended by some mamas in an online forum who claimed this book changed their lives and the way they parent. I agree with other reviewers who noted a condescending tone and the absence of "what will" work as the title promises. Sure, I did find some information helpful, but I had to pluck carefully among cliche and extreme examples. This is probably the first parenting book that I've come across that doesn't reference a single study. Most child-rearing books ha [...]


    5. "My Child My child isn’t my easel to paint on Nor my diamond to polish My child isn’t my trophy to share with the world Nor my badge of honor My child isn’t an idea, an expectation, or a fantasy Nor my reflection or legacy My child isn’t my puppet or a project Nor my striving or desire My child is here to fumble, stumble, try, and cry Learn and mess up Fail and try again Listen to the beat of a drum faint to our adult ears And dance to a song that revels in freedom My task is to step asi [...]


    6. I actually wanted to skip this book club selection, as I haven't really loved most of the parenting books I've read in the past. Glad I didn't. Oddly/randomly enough, this book described an approach to parenting which is very similar to mine/my husband's. Thus, I'm not sure I learned so much, but it was wonderfully reaffirming to see in print what we strive for each day in our home. I loved the critic vs. ally concept; I hear too many people telling newer parents that they "shouldn't be friends [...]


    7. I agree with the other reviewer who said that this book would be better served by a more positive-sounding title. I really appreciate the author's emphasis on connection (rather than control) in parent-child relationships. I don't read many parenting books anymore, but this one was thought-provoking, affirming and well worth my time.


    8. Ebeveynliğin kendimizi tanıma, yaralarımızı sarma, çocuklarımıza yolculuklarında faydalı olabilme yollarını anlatan harika bir kitap. 👌


    9. This book has completely changed my life. Anyone who wants to be a thoughtful parent and truly enjoy being a mom needs to read this book. Learning to accept others "as is" may be difficult but once applied gives you a whole new perspective on life. I am so thankful to have found this book.


    10. As a general rule of thumb, I try to avoid parenting books. every now and then, I forget this and pick one up. The author made a few good points, but nothing was a huge revelation. Her tone seemed condescending and I just couldn't relate to her.


    11. Insight into why we feel compelled to discipline (punish) when our desire is, and should be, to listen, guide, and connect.


    12. Shefali Tsabary is brilliant in the simplicity of her message. Just because the message is simple, though, doesn't mean the application is easy. But we are all grownups. We can do this.


    13. We all know that physical discipline and yelling have long term negative effects on kids, but even the modern go-tos such as consequences, threats to remove objects, timeouts and rewards lead to negative patterns. The first chapter is a must read as you'll clearly see examples of patterns you use yourself that aren't really working for you. Discipline is teaching your child to self-regulate, not controlling your child.She does a good job at showing how ridiculous and arbitrary the entire "if you [...]


    14. Our need to "discipline" our children comes from the furthest place from which we are connected to them: our ego, our need to control them, our need to label into right/wrong what in reality is only the disconnection that we have from our own Self. In this space, what was One becomes Separated, and the spiritual partnership that truly brought us here, ceases to exist.Dr. Tsabary's style is not my favorite and her writing is not enriched by research or scholarity, however, she illustrates spiritu [...]


    15. Interesting perspective, especially about school/grades. A little woo-woo at parts, but I like how much compassion she tries to have for her own child. If you're hard on your kids, you'll probably think she's too forgiving and soft. I'd encourage you to give her perspective a chance. Being a little more compassionate and forgiving of your kids isn't a bad thing, that's what unconditional love is after all.


    16. I enjoyed this book, and I was able to consider several current parenting problems in a new light. But nothing was super new. It was short on practical advice, though full of inspiration and encouragement. I was not pleased that she advocates rewards at the end after the whole book focusing on communication without manipulation.


    17. This is a parenting book about how parents should "discipline" their children. I just could not really get into this book and I have this bad habit of finishing books that I don't really like. Why the three stars then? The book wasn't horrible and it did give some good advice. The beginning kind of annoyed me because the author basically was saying that kids have to figure out natural consequences by themselves. For instance, if kids have a hard time getting up from school every day and don't li [...]


    18. This book probably deserves a "4," since it could add more practical tips, but it's the best book on parenting that I have yet read, and I've read at least ten in the past two years and perused many more at the library. I plan to pick it up again after my son grows a few more inches- it will really help in the adolescent years. I love Dr. Tsabary's basic philosophy of having no rules, just keeping your kids safe from harm. That sounds nuts, I know, but she shows us how we need to understand each [...]


    19. I'll be honestI didn't finish reading this book. I got really tired of blaming everything about challenges in parenting on your own hidden feelings from how you were raised by your parents. I personally think my parents did an awesome job and I don't feel resentment or any neglect or stifling from them at all. I also had a hard time with this book because I couldn't see how to apply the principles to myself and my situation and I especially had a hard time seeing the "what will" work that was bl [...]


    20. this is another book about parenting without discipline. the premise is good, the explanation and reasoning is good. she uses a LOT of big words. i thought it was interesting that i easily got half way through the book before even KNOWING she HAD a husband/father to her child there doesn't seem to be enough interaction between dads/children mentioned. also, she talks to her own child in 3rd person - for some reason this bothers me.overall, it is a good perspective of how to practice parenting wi [...]


    21. אני אמביוולנטית לגבי הספר הזה. מצד אחד, אני נוטה להסכים עם רוב הדברים שהיא כותבת ומקווה להצליח לממש חלק ניכר מהדברים. היא מנסחת דברים שכבר שמעתי במקומות אחרים, אבל תמיד טוב שמישהו מפרסם את זה בספר.מצד שני, יש בכתיבה שלה המון המון ביקורת ו"צריך", דבר שסותר לגמרי את הגישה שלה. אז א [...]


    22. Excellent, revolutionary perspective on parenting. My only slight adjustment is the practical aspect. I understand natural consequences as the best teacher, but I also feel it's good to set guidelines and try to promote values like going to parties and school (relatively) on time, completing homework (within reason), and at least modeling and encouraging appropriate behavior.


    23. An interesting take on parenting pointing out that often parents take their children's behavior as a reflection on them and are disciplining them out of pride rather than in an attempt to help their children. I'm not sure I buy all of her methods, but it definitely makes you think.


    24. Brilliant book! I would thoroughly recommend this to all parents or people planning on having children. A common sense approach to parenting!



    25. Great in theory, not so much in application. It is important to validate your child's feelings, be kind and understanding, etc but you can't do this is every situation. Impractical for real life.



    26. More of a philosophical approach than a practical guide. And the philosophy is kinda vague and abstract at times. Other parts include insights that hit the nail on the head.


    27. This is a very good parenting book. I was looking for info on how to keep a classroom under control and it didn't really address the special issues there.


    28. was ok, agreed with some things, but not always practical, i feel there was not enough info on how to ask questions to get feed back from the kids


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